Give the Visitations Policy a Chance
Something that came to the attention of many students this past summer was the new Visitations Policy. Previously, the policy on student visitations prohibited boys from going to girls’ rooms except during visitation hours (7 p.m. to check-in time) and vice versa. The rule also states that students are allowed to visit same-gender dorms at any time before check-in. However, this rule marginalized non-binary students by excluding where and when they could get V's, if at all.
New Hampshire state law requires inclusive rules and forced the administration to draft a new, gender neutral policy. This new policy states that students of different dorms are allowed to visit each others’ rooms only during visitation hours, irrespective of gender of student or dorm. At face value, this appears to be a win for Exeter’s LGBTQ community and a step toward equality. However, this change frustrates binary students as they are no longer permitted to visit their same-gendered friends’ rooms at any time during the day. Thus, binary students’ freedoms appear to be somewhat restricted by the new policy.
The main question that the administration faces when drafting a new V's policy is ‘do we allow a culture of inequality, which would go against our community’s morals, or do we bolster equality by ensuring that everyone has the same amount of freedom—that is to say, very little?’ I believe that the answer to this question has two parts. The new V's policy 1) should remain because it furthers equality for non-binary students. Furthermore, the policy is 2) not actually that bad since it really only deals with visitations in students’ rooms, as opposed to common spaces.
Let’s start with the first point. As I said, binary students are frustrated because they feel that they now have less freedom, and on paper, the rule does appear to limit our boundaries. However, we also need to look at the other side of the coin. We all deserve to be treated the way we want to be, and that’s why Exeter doesn’t discriminate against any race or class of people. We don’t prevent African-American students or female students from attending, nor do we discriminate on the basis of the student’s religion. It should be the same way with gender identity. We shouldn’t, deliberately or otherwise, prevent others from expressing their identity.
If your freedom denies others the right to equality, then that freedom is dangerous. As a result, I think the new V's policy should stay, at least because it’s the morally right thing to do. However, I do understand why people are mad. Change doesn’t come easily, and people hang out in their friends’ dorms a lot. It’s understandable why students would be mad if you throw a wrench into an integral part of student life at Exeter.
Backlash to the new policy has spread, especially on social media, where I’ve seen people posting complaints about the new policy. I think that this anger is unwarranted, because the policy still states you can hang out in any dorm’s common room, regardless of whether the dorm historically corresponds to your own gender (or lack thereof). If you can still meet with your friends in the common room, there remains a relative amount of retained freedom because most of the stuff people do in their rooms (study, hang out) can also be done in a common room.
It isn’t wise to give in to mob mentality regarding the new policy. We shouldn’t let anger cloud our judgement.