Top Nine Places to Cry on Campus

By: Chiecko Imamura

9.  On a main character walk at night

Risk: potential exposure, walking into a lamppost you forgot was there, squirrels 

Best used when: 8pm history, 8pm physics, no Fig Newtons left in dorm snacks 

8. Music Center practice room (the ones by the upstairs cello lockers)

Risk: snoopy cellists

Best used when: You had a “busy week” not practicing an hour before your lesson

7. (for boarders) The weird piano “room” in the dorm 

Risk: Disease? 

Best used when: you need to stop crying quickly, need a guaranteed uninterrupted cry

6. (for day students) The platform of the fourth floor 

Risk: echo down the rest of the stairwell

Best used when: The books start talking to you, need exercise 

5. Elting room corner 

Risk: people walking in during meal times 

Best used when: waiting for the dark academia misunderstood mystery love interest to show you their soft side

4. Love Gym third floor balcony 

Risk: Spectators of the pool

Best used when: Can’t do crow pose in yoga 

3. (for boarders) Kitchen at 2am 

Risk: Boiling your ramen for too long

Best used when: Have to respond to someone's 500 word discussion post, stubbed toe hard against bed post 

2. Second floor science building bathrooms 

Risk: other crying students took all the stalls 

Best used when: Bio test 

1. (for day students) McDonalds Drive Thru 

Just get yourself a 10 pc chicken nuggets and a shamrock shake