If DepartmentsWere WWE Wrestlers

Art

Side: Hero.

Costume: A smock, I guess.

Catchphrase: “Your painting isn’t good enough to be put in a common room, but do you want a sticker?”

Entrance Theme: Instrumental to some fad R&B song, like Hotline Bling.

Signature Move: Getting lost in the gallery on the way to CCO.

Math

Side: Villain.

Costume: A t-shirt reading “No Desmos allowed on test.”

Catchphrase: “Alex the geologist...”

Entrance Theme: Bank Account.

Signature Move: Color-coding a diagram.

Music

Side: Hero.

Costume: Musicians are really into black for some reason.

Catchphrase: “What are you doing Thursday night?”

Entrance Theme: Sonata/Overture/Adagio/Some other Italian word in V-Major.

Signature Move: Taking six classes.

Classical Languages

Side: Villain.

Costume: Anything, as long as it’s in dress code.

Catchphrase: “Flumen est Arar, Arar est flumen”.

Entrance Theme: The Greek Alphabet Song.

Signature Move: The Behr Fund, or complaining.

English

Side: Hero.

Costume: Too busy hiding the fact you didn’t do the homework to pay attention to what you’re wearing.

Catchphrase: See Meme.

Entrance Theme: The Way I Am by Eminem. Then get reported for “violent content”.

Signature Move: Having an inexplicable grading system.

Science

Side: Villain.

Costume: A Whale Skeleton.

Catchphrase: “Sig. Figs.”

Entrance Theme: Big Bang Theme

Signature Move: Making you sign the late sheet.

History

Side: Villain.

Costume: Constantly changing textbook.

Catchphrase: “I still call it the 333.”

Entrance Theme: Centuries

Signature Move: Reviewing Chicago-style footnote system.

Modern Languages

Side: Hero.

Costume: It’s not Latin so who cares

Catchphrase: Something not in Latin, so who cares.

Entrance Theme: Despacito

Signature Move: Using the elevator.