Faculty Meeting Leaks, Part II: Assembly Attendence

9:54- Memers of Assembly Committee present ideas for taking attendance, including assigned seating, and having students check-in with faculty members.

10:00- Groaning finally subsides; overheard comments such as “spoiled kids” and “wait we have assemblies at this school?”

10:02- Teachers discuss comments that students brought up in STUCO. Physics teacher whispers, though he clearly intends for everyone to hear, “Why the heck arew we listening to STUCO!? They thought we’d let them DRIVE each other for God’s sake!”

10:10- The meeting moves on to how students pointed out the capacity limits in assembly hall. Lots of suggestions here. Art Teacher says, “I bet they’d fit if we put them through a blender.” A coach firmly believes that “if we stuck some under the benches, it’d work.”

10:21- Moving on to some STUCO qualms over the quality of some assembly speakers, the faculty generally seems disgruntled. “The speakers pull in half my annual salary in a day. The speakers are plenty good,” one CompSci teacher says. “It takes a lot of convincing to get speakers to spend their Friday nights with the vibrant club scene of Exeter, NH,” a library staffer says. One teacher says that students from conservative backgrounds felt particularly dissatisfied with the variety of speakers. To this a history teacher simply says, “Just give them B-minuses for ‘abrasive in class discussions’ or something like that. That’ll shut ‘em up real quick.”

10:29- All in all, the faculty agrees that STUCO just slows things down, especially when one particularly obnoxious day stud rep starts asking questions.

10:35- Meeting concludes with no resolution, as no one is interested in spending forty minutes a week counting and sitting with students.