Primary Source: “The Horrors of Standardized Testing” (2018)

A series of sallow buses rolled under a granite grey sky, the kind of sky one can only find in New Hampshire. It is a threatening sky, hanging low, as if it is, indeed, not a sky at all but in reality one giant slab of granite, waiting to drop. The delinquents, tough enough to complain about the early hour, but still docile enough to submit to the commands to “form a line,” shuffled from the buses into the big house. Inmates who would “require accommodations,” that is they would be sentenced to “a little extra time” or “be better off in solitary,” were called forward and separated from the gen pop.

Then all the convicts were told to wait. They were forced to remain standing until a guard, armed with a clipboard, led them down a hall, past unforgiving steel lockers and behind a locked door. The inmates were stripped of their possessions. They were told that they would get them back “after your time is up.” They were however, allowed to keep certain items, but if they had come without these tools, they were harshly scolded and warned not to borrow from their cellmate. In fact, offering any assistance to a fellow inmate or attempting to escape was not allowed. If an attempt was made, “the consequences would be dire.”

For the better part of an hour, the convicts were forced to verify their identities and answer various questions about their backgrounds.

And then, their punishment began. A pecking order was established quickly, as they were instructed that the only way to change one’s standing was through instigating “a reversal of dominance” which would cause “much stress due to a possible change in the group dynamic and hierarchy.”

Though recreational breaks were permitted, they were short, and inmates remained forbidden to interact with one another. Their sentences seemed to grow longer and longer. Some went insane, repeating “A, B, C, D” in a frantic whisper.

Finally, the inmates were marched back to the buses and released back into society, but they remained forever scarred from their bid taking the PSAT.