Ava’s Weekend Disaster
We return to our hero in an abandoned western town, and by western we mean Exeter, New Hampshire, which is west of the ocean. Ava strides into Walgreens, seeking nothing more than a tube of new mascara.
“Mascara...” our hero mumbles quietly as she strolls down the aisles. She passes the other Exonians searching for snacks and/or happiness. Suddenly, she spots it: a hot-pink, manga-themed tube of the black liquid that she goes through like a Christian teen with a boyfriend goes through a bottle of lube. She picks up the weeb bottle, thinks for a moment on who she was freshman year, and then chooses the nearest pink bottle that doesn’t remind her of dark days.
The young Exonian, satisfied with her choice, makes her way towards the counter to check out. There stands a man with a five o’clock shadow, or maybe it’s a five week shadow that he’s still waiting to grow.
“Hi, how are you?” she politely asks.
“Good, how are you doing?” The clerk responds.
You might wonder where this interaction is going. Fear not, dear reader, for Ava’s life is about to get substantially and infinitely worse.
“I’m good, how are you?”
“...”
“...”
The clerk is silent. Ava is silent. Every disaster of her mediocre life crosses her mind all at once, but nothing compares to the embarassment that she’s facing. Not the time she got kicked out of class for laughing too much. Not the time she fell out of her bed on her second day at Exeter. Not the time she kicked down a bathroom door without realizing someone was in there. Not even the time she peed her pants in front of a bunch of seniors two years ago could compare to the tension that faces Ava at this moment.
The clerk says nothing. He scans her bottle disinterestedly, almost like he’s forgotten. But she won’t forget. She knows this experience may very well haunt her until the day she slips in the shower and dies lonely and cold. The beep of her mascara scanning across the scanner reminds her of the Fitness Gram Pacer Test. “The Fitne--” But this is not the time for memes. She shoves her debit card chip into the slot, grabs her mascara, and flees from the cursed place that is Walgreens on the weekend. Tune in next week for another adventure that will likely end in shame.