A Trump Diary Entry

January 1, 2018

Being president is NOT fun. Why don’t people ever let me win? Why weren’t they praising me for telling Kim Jong Un that my nuclear button was bigger than his? They voted me over Marco Rubio when I said the same thing about our hands, so why hasn’t North Korea finally given up and just allowed me to be its friend? It’s fine, though, because I am going to have a nice vacation at Mar-A-Lago during the government shutdown. No one has to work during that time, right? I thought this was such a great loophole that I came up with and throughout my life, my two greatest assets have been mental stability and being, like, really smart. Wait! That last sentence sounded pretty nice. Perhaps I will tweet about that later this week. I am a pretty stable genius who deserves more credit for all of the hard work I do, like preventing plane crashes in the U.S. during 2017, but the American people are too ungrateful. Hopefully with a new year, there will be a new attitude finally embracing me for my greatness.

xoxo,

The Donald