Exonian Upset That He is Spending Winter Break in Paris and Not Barbados

“It came out of nowhere,” said a trembling Tray Kluvian. “The plan had been Barbados. The plan had always been Barbados. But then I got a call.”

Kluevian, an upper from Greenwich, Connecticut, recently suffered from a FaceTime conversation with his mother. One Sunday morning, Jennifer Kleuevian explained to her son that instead of spending the two weeks of December in Barbados, they’d visit France.

“Who does that? It’s winter. I want to be warm and relaxed, not French.” Tray had written a strongly worded email to his mother, but ended up deleting the draft after consulting her secretary about it.

After spending hours searching for someone who might call him or herself Tray’s friend, The Exonian found Stacy Campbell, a student in Tray Klewvian’s English class.

“You know, I can’t say a lot about Tray,” stated Campbell. “For a while I did not like him because he almost never shows up to class and thinks he’s discreet when using his hoverboard, even though everyone knows. But at the same time, he buys us food at least once a week so I can’t say anything too mean.”

At the end of our interview, Tray KLOOOOOVIAN confided in  the journalists of The Exonian. “I think I have to run away,” he concluded. “If my parents don’t respect me, if they can’t follow through on their word, then why should I even stick around? That’s just giving them the power to walk all over me.”

After walking around town for two hours, Tray sobbed and returned to his dorm room to find a voicemail left on his phone.

“As it turns out,” said Tray Kluvian, “we are going to Barbados this break! France is for spring break, not winter.”