Emily Green’s Christmas List
All I want for Christmas is...
1. To be featured as the Athlete of the Week.
2. An investment portfolio.
3. A signed copy of Bee Movie–signed, of course, by the bees.
4. A good math grade.
5. A stockpile of non-perishables for when Trump takes over.
6. A tractor to get in touch with my Midwestern roots.
7. A D2 giftcard to fuel my addiction.
8. A firm handshake (and a side of prolonged eye contact) with Principal MacFarlane.
9. World peace.
10. A small Welsh village.
11. A dinner date with young Tim Kaine.
12. The blood of a unicorn.
13. Chocolate to eat away the pain.
14. A dreidel.
15. Friends.
16. YOOOOOUUUUUUUUUU! (Baby!)