Removal of Annual Bonfire Sparks Heated Controversy, Tempers Flare
Due to the town’s drought, 2016’s E/a prep rally will not be preceded by a bonfire. This leaves many students feeling like they cannot fully celebrate the impending demolition by Andover. Nevertheless, a group of administrative members and faculty have determined the perfect replacement for the bonfire: 12 lesser fires. To also alleviate any safety issues due to lack of lighting, these smaller blazes will be held at 4:21 p.m., though they may begin sooner.
The bonfire’s resemblance to cult activities has been cause for concern in the past. “I’m excited for the mini fires,” stated lower Lylah Lemmons. “The giant fire mixed with the chanting really brought me back to my childhood that I do not want to relive.”
Still, there are students who will miss the cult-like feel that the bonfire brings. “I’m not a part of crew,” said sane senior Sally Simpson. “This is the only chance for me to feel like I belong somewhere. A series of fires instead of one giant fire will splinter the community. We’ll all be divided, devoting ourselves to our respective fires. What if in one group they’re making jokes? Sharing Snapchat usernames? I don’t want to miss the action!”
Others are incredibly worried that the smaller fires will not adequately warm Cilley. “Few people know this,” informed a six-year resident of Cilley, “but Cilley does not receive heating like all the other dorms. The bonfire is supposed to sustain us for the entire year. Now we will be freezing throughout the entire winter. Just like everyone had hoped.”
Experienced pyro and senior RC McShane expressed his self-centered, senior-fall, college-apps-are-due-so-soon mindset on the coming conflagration. “While I’m disappointed in the lack of a singular fire, I think this is an awesome opportunity for the school to open this up as an opportunity for seniors to improve their college apps. These could be senior-run activities, and could be used as fluff to fill up that last extracurricular space on the Common App,” he said.
The bonfire was not available for comment.