Letter from Member of Class of 2020
Greetings, Exeter! It’s been quite the summer, hasn’t it? To help out our friends who spent all of it doing “rewarding”, “life changing” volunteer work in the middle of nowhere, I’ve summarized the biggest news of Summer 2k16. This way, our peers can start on even ground with the rest of us as their 650 word summers get passed around from Harvard to Stanford to Yale.
Let’s start with Brexit. Most Exonians were against the “Leave” campaign, though that opinion was mainly formed through all the facebook posts their friends shared that they didn’t read. This came as a surprise to exactly no one because of how good Exonians are at sounding thoughtful and a touch condescending when all they really know about the topic being discussed is the first and last paragraph of the reading they were assigned.
The Forrestal-Bowld Music Center renovations were finished this summer, and while a number of Exonians are excited about the new and improved destination, others are not as pumped. “I wish they’d delayed it for another year, or three,” one student who chose to remain anonymous told us. “Now I don’t have an excuse to stalk the new prep posse instead of practicing.”
Exeter swept the podium at the National Engineering, Robotics, and Differential geometry competition (NERD for short) this summer. When interviewed about the event, Average Joe said, “It’s good to know that an average joe like me can become someone great at Exeter.” Reports say that Average Joe is currently in his room binge watching Stranger Things for the 37th time this summer.
Donald Trump said many words this summer, and everyone in the world clung to each and every one. Here are some of those words: “the”, “to”, “an”, “that”, “if”, “it”, “there”, “was”, and “paper clips”.
The Olympics, also known as the Ryan Lochte Disaster struck in August. The Olympics allowed the people of the United States of America to be proud of their country, and the olympic swimmer brought Americans back down to a steady, normal level of disappointment. According to Fox News, Simone Biles won all her medals thanks to a kiss from Zac Efron.
The War of 1812.