13 Tips for the Sad Prep in Your Life

1. If you cry while holding a pillow close, you can pretend you’re back at home crying into your mother’s bosom.

2. If you close your eyes while petting a faculty cat, it’s pretty much like having your younger sibling back.

3. Quietly whisper to yourself, “What sin did I commit to get me to this hell?” when you have a hard time falling asleep. Perhaps God will pity you and give you an easy biology teacher.

4. If you put enough salt on the D-Hall potatoes, they almost taste real.

5. If you get sick, ask your roommate to rub vaporub on your chest. I promise that they won’t be weirded out.

6. When you’re really sick, go to the health center and they’ll give you some ice for that virus.

7. When you’re terminally ill, go to the health center and they may even give you some toast.

8. Reach out to some uppers for advice. They’ll definitely agree that being homesick is harder than The Suffering™.

9. Eat your feelings.

10. Express all of your emotions in poems that you will ultimately submit to PEAL.

11. Humiliate yourself because the action is so familiar that it’ll give you a sense of comfort.

12. Try to communicate with your friends back home via cauldron.

13. Instead of being homesick, join the humor page and rid yourself of sadness by replacing the void of your emotions with bad puns and snarky list articles.