Senior Summer Plans

This is just a whim, but I think there’s a good chance that in “true Exonian fashion” none of you guys have plans for this summer at all. Now that you don’t have to worry about bulking up your activities for college, here are some ideas for how to spend your summer:

1. Camp out on the quad in a literal tent until you smell bad enough that even Majestic’s fac brats don’t want to hang out with you.

2. Run to the airport to stop your soulmate from chasing their dreams. Declare your eternal love. Break up after a turbulent week of long distance.

3. Search for the Holy Grail.

4. Do every single reading that you skimmed or didn’t do entirely. Confess your sins to your former teacher. Have them roll their eyes and tell you that they knew, which explains the grade you got in their class.

5. Go to the south of France and take hundreds of photos and post all of them on facebook.

6. Argue with rising preps in Exeter Confesses.

7. Don’t pour 29 gallons of salt into the San Francisco Bay with your neighbor’s brother’s boyfriend’s son’s preschool teacher.

8. Get a job. Fall in love with your coworker, the closed-off one with a tragic backstory.9. Get fired when you tell your mean boss that you “respectfully disagree” with something they say.

10. Adopt a dog missing four legs, both eyes, a heart, lungs, fur. Adopt a patch of air.

11. Hug every Exonian you see over the summer. Pretend you both like each other now that you’ve graduated.

12. Collect soda-can tabs.

13. Begin work on the Supreme Leader’s 2036 campaign.

14. Scratch out Iowa on every map you find.

15. Go home and tell your parents that you love them and have missed them dearly the past four years. Discover that two strangers are living in your house. Find out that your parents sold the old place having forgotten that you existed and moved to Florida.

16. Watch every episode of American Ninja Warrior. Cry when Geoff Britten doesn’t win. Engrain yourself into the Ninja community. Convince yourself that you’d totally be able to climb ropes and do pull-ups. Try to do a push-up. Give up on your dream.

17. Call the teacher who has made the biggest impression on you at Exeter, and tearfully thank them. See how touched they are. Call them again. And again. And again. They will soon stop picking up.

18. Don’t speak to any bears.

19. Travel the world in an attempt to collect every PEAN yearbook in existence.

20. Eat scallops.

21. Drink pomegranate juice.

22. Scream into a valley and listen to your echo.

23. Realize that you hate the way your voice sounds. Like a lot.

24. Listen to pop music after holding your ‘basicness’ in for four years.

25. Burn all of your math notebooks.

26. Fetch them out of the fire when you realize that you still have to take math in college.

27. Time-travel to stop yourself from burning your math notebooks.