Senior Quotes Better than Your Quote

Dear Graduating Seniors,

You’re all idiots. Here are the quotes you should have immortalized:

“The bagel is moving.” -Chris Viner

“Pull up your pants, Patrick. We’re going home.” -Spongebob Squarepants

“You may have hoodwinked everyone else in this backwater town, but you can’t fool me. I listen to public radio.” -Squidward Tentacles

“Goodbye, everyone. I’ll remember you all in therapy.” -Plankton

“Gaze into my jiggly goodness and see the falsehood of your words.” -Cosmo

“Raise less corn and more hell.” -Mary Elizabeth Lease

“Work hard, end up in a vicious cycle of working hard.” -Wiz Khalifa

“That crew season went by quickly.” -Four Year Senior

“Of all the radio stations in Chicago ... we’re one of them.” -Slogan of 105.9, the classic rock radio station in Chicago

“Time’s fun when you’re having flies.” -Kermit the Frog

“I had dinner with Obama once, and he just seemed very firm about the change, and that’s, like, his motto.” -Kim Kardashian

“When I hear people boo, that just makes me want to go out there and work harder.” -John Cena

“I still think I am the greatest. ” -Kanye West

“It’s not me trying to act or pose in a certain way. It’s a lifestyle — like a suaveness or a swag, per se.” -Justin Bieber

“Who cares how a cell divides? It just does.” -Pretty Little Liars

“People are looking at Putin as one who wrestles bears and drills for oil. They look at our president as one who wears mom jeans.” -Sarah Palin

“Most teachers think that by cutting class, I might improve my grades.” -Glee

“20 years from now if there is some obscure Trivial Pursuit question, I am confident I will be the answer.” -Ted Cruz

“Wal-mart... do they like make walls there?” -Paris Hilton

“I’ve always been into being ultra-rich.” -Scott Disick

“I look forward to the day the paparazzi provokes me and I attack them.” -Glee

“Assembly is a required appointment.”  -Dean Cosgrove