All of Trump’s Policies Aside From the Wall

1. His administration holds a strict “If we can’t see them, they can’t see us” policy when dealing with terrorism. All Americans would have to cover their eyes at all times.

2. His stance on finding a safe replacement for gas and oil: “Mexicans could pull our cars. But I’m not sure how safe that would be because they’re all terrorists. Or is that Muslims?”

3. His stance on the Keystone XL Pipeline: “Sarah Palin, great woman, love her, once famously said ‘Drill, Baby, Drill.’ On the subject of the pipeline, I say ‘Pipe, Baby, Pipe!’”

4. His foreign policy is that he’d try to marry a 25 year- old from every country.

5. He wants to conquer Canada.

6. He hopes to move the capital to Hawaii when he becomes president “to mess with people.”

7. He wants to outlaw the word “the.” When asked why, Trump said, “It’s useless.”

8. He insists on changing the national anthem to the Team America theme song. You know, the one that starts “AMERICA! HECK YEAH!”

9. He demands that the Second Amendment be edited to include rocket launchers.