E&R Mix Up Causes Chaos
In an incident that was definitely not in preparation for April Fools’ Day, and in which the Humor Page definitely had no hand in, E&R allegedly created the worst laundry mix up since the beginning of time.
The mix up has hit Exonians hard, as many walk around campus in a daze.
A young prep boy was spotted with Mr. Ramsey’s face plastered on a sweatshirt that was 10 times too big for him.
A different prep, who told us that her greatest aspiration was to make Trendwatch, cried in humiliation after being forced to wear bootcut jeans.
A senior gallantly sporting a crop top was joined by his friend, a PG, decked out in math club gear, on his way to class. When questioned about his attire, the PG got defensive, arguing that, “PGs can do math too.” In fact, the PG told us, he’s sick of being objectified by the rest of the student body.
Many other guys have spoken up in agreement with this PG. Though they refused to elaborate on how and when this solidarity began, many speculate that this unity came to be after they were dress coded. Teachers were forced to do so after looking at their revolting Chicken Legs. “Seriously,” one teacher commented, “I’ve seen some horrible things here, but nothing quite like a classroom full of boys who have their toothpick-thin legs exposed to the light.”
As shown by this bony legs incident, the laundry mix up has affected the whole campus, not just the students. The campus now knows, thanks to the top-quality journalism of Exeter Confesses, that Principal MacFarlane also uses E&R services. Likewise, she has also been affected by the tragedy of the mixup. Instead of giving off the typical English teacher vibes, she was caught sporting basketball shorts, a backwards Under Armour hat and a varsity jacket. One dean reported, “One day she was talking about finances and then just went on to rant about her bracket. It was like she wanted to stop but just couldn’t. I think we’ve lost her to the sportball.”
Though the laundry mix up tragedy has brought much misery to Exeter, there is a bright side. As an anonymous member of the dining hall staff put it, “Hey, at least we’re not the butt of this edition of the Humor Page’s jokes for once.”