Jack Hirsch: Intimidating or Cuddly

In regard to Jackson Hirsch, Editor-in-Chief of The Exonian, two opposing accounts have arisen regarding his nature.

In one account, Hirsch is depicted as a terrifying tyrant.  He rules The Exonian with an iron fist, intimidating all the members of the staff.  Though slightly small in stature and build (does he even lift?), he makes up for it with his terrorizing personality.

The other view of Harsh Hirsch, meanwhile, is as an adorable snuggler.  Using his non-athletic size, and his soft “muscles,” he acts as an amazing pillow for those around him. Found curled up with another senior (Tommy Song), he appears relatively docile. 

Sept. 28, 2015, 6:57 P.M.:

“Sit there if you don’t want to get kicked out,” he barked. I shrunk into my seat, turning my head to ensure that Jack the Terrible didn’t launch himself at me. Right as the clock struck seven, Jack bellowed, “QUIET!” The hushed, fearful murmurings of the small crowd died instantly. As the last sports article was assigned, Jack quickly rose to his feet and walked to the podium. Fearful glances passed in between not only the students, but also the editors. “As everyone in the room knows, articles are due at 10 P.M. Sunday. NIGHT.” he exploded. “I expect EVERY single article to be in by then.” And just like that, he left the room in a dead silence.

Sept. 28, 2015, 11:03 P.M.:

Strolling into an Ewald senior’s room, I spotted two seniors on the couch wrapped tightly together. Jack held the smaller upperclassmen next to him, both fast asleep. They slept there all night—all is quiet in the Hirsch den.

One of these must be a facade.  It is impossible for both to be true. Jack seems to only scare when he works on The Exonian.  But he also is cuddly to the kids in Ewald and his close friends.  His personality cannot be easily categorized, and whether his lack of athleticism plays into it is also questionable.  I will leave the decision up to you, though I would be careful whenever you walk into an Exonian meeting.