10 Things To Do When Preparing for Abbot Casino

1. Put on some Kanye West. After all, you’re basically Kanye, just with less humility.

2. Drink water because you’re so damn thirsty.

3. Put on excessive perfume/Axe. Much like the lion, you use your scent to attract mates. (I’m looking at you, Wentworth.)

4. Shave because the patriarchy says you have to.

5. Google “How to Play Poker.”

6. Be too lazy to watch the whole YouTube video. You can just learn when you’re there, anyway.

7. Put on a dress revealing enough to make you feel fierce but not so revealing that you give a dorm faculty member a heart attack.

8. Do your makeup to hide the dark circles under your eyes.

9. Admire the muscles you got from being the star of dorm Zumba.

10. Put on heels and try to walk through eight feet of snow in them.