Winter Sports
Winter sport tryouts are coming up, and luckily for you, the humor page knows exactly what sport is right for you! Prep Spaz- Unless you’re one of the toughest athletes in the school, you’re going to want to stay away from Prep Spaz this winter term, and basically every winter term. The program itself is one of the hardest this school has to offer, sifting through everything from wrestling to diving. Tryouts will be at 5 a.m. with Coach Mills. But really, I’m not lying when I say it will be tough to make the cut. Yoga as Meditation- If you are an Exonian, you should enroll in Yoga as Meditation. This sports option offers one of the only physical activities I personally enjoy: sleeping. That’s right. Walk in with your homies dressed in sweats and slacks, pull out a yoga mat and a pillow and nap for 50 minutes. Especially helpful for kids suffering from senioritis. No tryouts needed. Varsity Boys Hockey- Hockey is looking like one of the easier teams to make this term, mainly because hockey is not a very popular sport in New England. They’re basically taking anyone who owns a pair of skates, or says they own a pair of skates. However, act quickly, because there are only 99 spots left! Tryouts are at 6 p.m. at the rink with Coach Pacific. Winter Track- Tryout for winter track if you like running in the cold or getting bronchitis in the cage. Meets during EF too so you can get cramps after lunch. They say it builds character. Winter Opt- Highly selective. To make this team of top-notch athletes, you’re going to have to go through several years of prep spaz. Tryouts are during assembly in the cage. Crew- Real talk tho: crew is a difficult sport any time of the year. If you really want to get yolked, you’ll work out with these guys, and spend every moment you are in the gym on a torture machine called the erg where you’ll pull a rope as hard as you can and pray that the numbers on the screen in front of you stay small. AMC- This year Mr. Feng got permission to officially make math a sport. That’s right, mathletes are athletes. Tryouts consist of completing Math books 1-5, as well as some other random problems Mr. Feng feels like putting on the board. Meets during ABCDEFGH.