Spark Notes

Late to class and you haven’t done your English homework? Too tired from waking up at 5 in the morning every single day this week to do the reading? Not really sure what Gatsby is about anyways? Don’t worry - Humor gotchu covered. THE GREAT GATSBY White guy #1, Nick Carraway, shows up in 1%-ville and happens to move into the house next to incredibly rich and mysterious white guy #2, Gatsby. White guy #1 visits his cousin, Daisy, and her husband Mr. Musclehead/ Tom Buchanan/ Rich White Guy #3. Tom Buchanan thinks he’s finna the finest playa in the game since he got both a main chick AND a side chick. Nick gets an invitation to Gatsby’s first party, and lliterallllyyyy every1 who’s any1 is there. Practically everyone is getting turnt. Carraway hears from the guests that Gatsby is a murderer, a thief, and probably the love child of Hitler and whoever invented Crocs, yet Nick still wants to meet him. Gatsby and Nick finally meet, and Gatsby becomes the daddy figure/ best friend that Nick never had. After getting to know each other, Nick gives his new bro Gatsby the ultimate gift - he introduces him to rich white guy #3’s main chick. Gatsby, a.k.a. Mista Stealyogirl, hits it off with the main chick, and everything goes great until her husband finds out. Gatsby and Buchanan get crunk and challenge each other to a dance battle, and the husband rightfully wins his wife back. Driving back home with Gatsby, the main chick spies the side chick in the road and nails the side chick with a Rolls Royce. Later, Gatsby gets shot by side chick’s main man. The End.