Juice Judgment

Blessed with FG sports, I often find myself wandering into grill between the end of E format and the start of tennis. I always gravitate towards the refrigerated drinks, but I never know what to get. Do I choose the tangy, spritzy taste of 0-calorie, 0-regret Fresca, or do I go for the more fulfilling Nesquick chocolate milk that just hits the spot? Recently, however, I've discovered that what you purchase to drink at Grill not only speaks to your drink preference, but to your personality as well. Here are some examples:

Honest Tea - You've got to honestly be kidding if you want me to take you seriously. With flavors like Raspberry Fields and Peach Ooh-La-Long, I'm just not really sure what you're drinking. 

Mountain Dew - If you're a guy, you've got me wondering whether you're trying to act macho, or whether you're trying to decrease your sperm count. Chances are, it's both. Soda that's more neon than a raver's glow sticks, I'd be really careful drinking this stuff.

Coffee - I'm tired too. Let me have some….? Respect if you got it for free. 

Diet Coke/ Diet Pepsi/ Diet whatever - We know you chose the "Diet" not because of it's flavor. Chances are, you picked this drink because it's better for you, although all that aspartame will eventually catch up with you. I know I definitely fall into this category.

The weird water drink with the flavor in the cap - who actually knows what this is called. I certainly don't. But if you're buying this drink, I know that you're one smart cookie. Buying this drink, ladies and gentleman, is how you get around the fact that Grill doesn't sell bottled water. by simply opting out of the flavor packet, you can effectively purchase bottled water from Grill, even though it is grossly over priced.

Orange juice (no pulp) - Pretty standard. Seems like the kinda drink you'd buy in the morning. 

Orange juice (a little pulp) - Okay, not so standard. So you want to be a little adventurous, and get a little bit of that pulpy taste, fine. That's okay.

Orange juice (some pulp) - Oh I'm sorry, I didn't realize that you wanted a free snack along with your drink. What's that? I can't hear what you're saying over the sound of you choking on those clumps of pulp.

Milk - Even though it is my state's official drink…. why?

Milkshake - Can we be friends (read: can I have a sip)?