Principal Advice

Happy Principal’s Day, Exonians!

Because we at the Humor Page care about fun, debauchery and you, we’ve decided to forsake our afternoon of pregaming for Principal’s Day to give you some advice on how to spend yours.

For those of you that don’t know the history of the holiday, it started the same year John Phillips founded the Academy in 1781. Traditionally, the Day meant that the headmaster/principal/supreme ruler of the school had the day off from patrolling to do whatever it is that principals do, like get manicures or find things to sneak into the E-book, or even reliving their own high school days in the privacy of their own home. After the riot in the late ‘70’s (don’t bother looking this up because all records of it have been erased-just take our word for it), Principal’s Day has been for, and about the students (and how the school can announce it more elaborately each year). So, at the risk of boring you all with more history, here’s a sure fire way to make sure you have the best Principal’s Day yet.

1. Stay in bed all afternoon, night and day watching Netflix. Many students will use this day to go into a vegetative state for fourteen or more hours, allowing their brains to relax after five weeks’ worth of grind. Some kids really commit to this by ordering food and not leaving their rooms until the next morning, when they once again have to return to the harsh reality of classes.

2. Use this as an excuse to start the first annual PEA Purge (has a nice ring to it, doesn’t  it?). Like the movie, all rules would be suspended for twelve hours (or as long as Principal’s Day, if the Academy so pleases) and get out all of the frustration that has built up over the year. Beat up the kid that cut you in line that one time when Elm was serving your favorite meal, or write E’s all over the door of your prep winter math teacher’s classroom to stick it to him or her.

3. If you’re more of a pacifist (read: nerd), you could use the day to catch up on work, or even get ahead. Uppers, we all know how much “work” you’ve done on the draft of your 333, so you might want to use Principal’s Day to chip away at that page count. Or stress cry.

4. Don a suit and Exeter tie, and have friends record you saying positive things about the Academy. Reach out to potential Exonians and give them a winning smile and a multitude of reasons that they should attend the fine institution of Phillips Exeter Academy. Use Principal’s Day as an excuse for Academy Halloween and be your favorite rule enforcer on campus.

5. Mosey on over to south side quad and fulfill your childhood dreams of living on the campus of Pacific Coast Academy featured on Zoey 101. Take advantage of the 32/57 degree low and high of tomorrow and tan on the quad. Watch athletic hotties throw around a frisbee or football and play fun music with your friends. Just as long as you don’t mind goosebumps and clumsy preps.

Don’t forget to do something and treasure your day off before going back to classes on Friday (and Saturday #thanksHassan).