Joke Killers

Do you find yourself constantly tweeting about things like assembly speakers, campus-wide epidemics (like the honey roasted peanut butter in Wetherell or the town power outage), or preps that dare to venture outside their rooms? Do you clap whenever someone drops their food in the dining halls? Is it hard for you to stay quiet when there are performances happening? Do you struggle with keeping your catcalling in check? Then I'm sorry to tell you that you've been diagnosed with a common disease of ruining things. For total recovery, you will need to be in internet and real life isolation for at least ten thousand years until you learn to not be a joke killer. There also might be some medical procedures for it, but you must pursue those at your own risk, as they involve funny bone insertion surgery, and the transplant list is much longer than the donor list.