Having the Perfect Online Image

By  SAMAIYA JULY ‘28, AMERSON LIANG ‘28, and DIYA SANDEEP’28

Lying restless in bed, teenagers are prompted to either sit there waiting for fatigue to consume them into sleep or open up their phones to scroll into hours of infinite content. As people go down the rabbit hole of media and posts, they realize how low they really are. Instead of spending time with friends and living their lives, they hide behind their phones. Little do they know that the people they live vicariously through are no different from them. The only exception is that they promote their lifestyle into something seemingly unattainable. This relationship between the platform and its users has become unhealthy and toxic, but was this the original purpose of social media?

With this sense of missing out that follows so many of us everywhere, there are also the people behind the screen. When we post pictures, we pick our favorites — the one where your hair looks perfect or where the lighting suits you almost too well. It’s only to be expected that we choose to present the best version of ourselves to others, but that can very easily go too far.

It’s similar to the way we tend to like outfits that we’ve been complimented on more often or go to trendy places. We all want others to see us in the best way possible and we’re willing to adjust to their expectations to make that happen. It’s a part of human nature, we rely on community and we like to fit in as much as we can.

But it’s when we turn to editing ourselves, because we don’t like the way we look from any angle, so we’d rather change certain things about ourselves — like editing our figure or making ourselves look paler to fit better into the beauty standards — that the true problem arises. Because not only are you only magnifying your own insecurities, but you’re also perpetuating the rise of toxic expectations and letting them solidify their place as a societal norm. 

Although this has always happened in different forms — think paintings of royalty that may have tweaked a few parts of their appearance to make them seem more appealing — the widespread nature of the internet has made this so much more severe. With the click of a few buttons, almost any person with access to a device can find your face, your contact information, and sometimes, even your location.

This puts so much more pressure on us to make sure that every aspect of our lives is perfect. Because it’s no longer just your closest friends and potentially acquaintances that see us. It’s everybody. So in order to match our larger audience, we’ve switched to searching for that perfect photo, because good enough is no longer good enough. We now require flawless and, at times, downright inaccurate depictions of us as people and our lives. 

In an era driven by social media and public personas, social media has led many people to engage in activities for show rather than for genuine enjoyment. The desire to impress others and gain approval often overshadows the potential for personal fulfillment, as the anxiety of seeking validation becomes the main goal. This approach to media can diminish the meaning of these experiences, turning what should be a healthy way to express yourself into a source of stress and self-doubt. 

The lack of genuine engagement can affect more than just the individual. When people engage in activities solely for the recognition, they fail to put in the effort to truly excel and grow. This ends up taking away opportunities from people who have real passion for those activities, limiting others who genuinely value and wish to contribute to the experience. Such dynamics create a lifestyle where the joy of participation is replaced by notable visibility and approval.

The overwhelming focus on validation erodes both fulfillment and well-being. True joy comes from immersing ourselves in an activity purely for the love of it without the constant worry of how others will perceive us. When the focus shifts away from motivation, activities become draining rather than uplifting. This dynamic forms a mentality where appearances matter more than fulfillment, leaving fewer opportunities for genuine passion to be created. Reclaiming these spaces requires a shift in our mindset to one that prioritizes authentic engagement over performative participation, allowing both individuals and communities to thrive. 

But these apps and platforms give us an option. They allow users to spend time on them how they want and to post anything. I know people who enjoy posting pictures of places they’ve been or their hobbies. Nevertheless, the audience of these displays should be considered. With such unlimited possibilities in these platforms, they pose the question of how others will perceive them. Yet this questioning already affects our daily lives. Similar to how you don’t wear a T-shirt to a wedding, you don’t post something embarrassing and stupid onto something where everyone could see it online. 

This fear of public perception can be heightened in some. The platform inclines us to become a superficial version of ourselves, to show that we are better than who we actually are, and to prove to ourselves that we are. But this is unhealthy. As digital citizens, we cannot let these applications control us. Instead, we should use them in their intended way: recreationally. It is right to portray yourself in a positive way, but going the extra mile to become something you’re not takes a mental toll. If anything, most users create private accounts for those close to them to show their true, unfiltered selves. 

In the pursuit to obtain the perfect online presence, people end up losing the passion and desire for their online craft. While the process of sharing one’s life can be enjoyable, the consequences of becoming too involved with the opinions of others online can lead to feelings of depression and inadequacy. As people navigate social media, they must critically evaluate how they go about keeping life and truth within their craft. Despite the positive influences that media can have, it is continuously overshadowed by the fear of looking stupid or being hated online. So, despite social media’s intended purpose of being a way to have fun online, it has become a tool to create and amplify the social anxiety and depression of creators.