Beyond the Gendered Notes

By  GRACE YANG ‘27

        Growing up as a female pianist, I was mostly told, “You can’t play Beethoven, your hands are too small.”

        At the age of eight, my piano teacher offered me two paths, “Do you want to play Beethoven or Mozart?” Drawn by Beethoven’s vivid dynamic, challenging rhythms, and lyrical melodies, I told her I wanted to play Beethoven.

        Ludwig Van Beethoven, a German composer in the Classical period to the Romantic era in classical music, emphasizes dramatic and transcendental themes through his symphonies and sonatas. His most famous sonatas were granted visionary titles: Passionata, Waldstein, Pathetique, Tempest, and Moonlight. When people first hear the titles, they often assume a flowy, melodizing tune will trickle from the eighty-eight black and white keys. Beethoven deceived his audience by concealing his internal pain with romantic titles yet embedded his emotions through his minor chords. He was a deaf composer, expressing his passion for music as he raced against time, fighting for his hearing. These themes are somehow classified as “masculine” in the modern day.

        Boys always played Beethoven: they demonstrated their strength by constantly conquering the difficult chords in fortissimo; they showed off their skills by playing unnecessarily fast; and they had larger hands.

        “You’ll need to put in three times more time than boys to play Beethoven’s pieces,” my piano teacher constantly reminded me. At eight years old, no one reached puberty; everyone’s body was undeveloped. To be fair, all children had the same size of hands. However, it was assumed that girls could deal with Mozart’s meticulous notes, Chopin’s romantic nocturnes, and Debussy’s modern creation of impressionistic harmonies much better than Beethoven’s chords and Liszt’s inhumane octaves. Our hands are too small.

        Throughout my piano ‘career,’ I played a variety of classical composers with diverse styles. Moving from the Baroque period to the Classical, Romantic, and Impressionism, Beethoven’s music has always been a thorn in my heart. I started by playing his simple sonatas for Associated Board of the Royal Schools Music tests, small competitions, and studio performances. People who had a brief understanding of the background of composers would always comment, “It’s impressive for a girl to play Beethoven.” Our hands are too small.

        Even now, at Exeter, I would be practicing in the music building while accidentally taking over a teacher’s studio. I vividly remember a music teacher pushed into my practice room to pick up his piece scores and asked, “Beethoven? How wide can your hands reach?” Not so crazy, only one octave.

        Last fall, I presented Beethoven’s Moonlight Sonata 3rd movement to our Exeter community at the student soloist concert. Passion, dynamic, and contrast entitled the piece. Fast pace. Powerful. Bringing Beethoven’s Moonlight into Exeter’s Bowld, not only did I fulfill my dream of playing Beethoven but also somehow redefined the possibility of female pianists.

        Whenever I see female pianists playing composers like Lizst, Prokofiev, Beethoven and Rachmaninov, I see a pattern in all female pianists: trying to break the stereotype. I see them trying to establish a “contrasting” style for them, experimenting with bold, fearless and theatrical styles. I see them trying to leave impressions that they would be accepted and acknowledged as “strong musicians.” I see them trying to conceal qualities they naturally possess and aim to challenge the impossible.

        In the larger frame of the classical music world, it almost seems like a female playing piano isn’t a promising career. The contradicting perception is that “girls should learn piano” to play an intermezzo or nocturne at the dinner table but not as an International Chopin Piano Competition winner. Since 1927 till today, only two female pianists have won the competition. Female pianists try to prove themselves by conquering the grander pieces as if diligent nocturnes cannot prove their ability. Conversely, mastering nocturnes for male pianists seems to be a persuasive element in cultivating their well-rounded skills. Truly, female pianists put in three times the amount of time to simply justify their ability.

        But I guess gender cannot speak for your ability in the music world.

        Prove it. You just have to prove it.