On the Tradition Of “Prep Posse”
On the first day, while most preps were looking around, eyes wide, butterflies in stomach, just trying to find their ways around the towering red brick buildings that still felt cold and distant, a select few were shrieking and hugging—apparently well-acquainted after connecting on Facebook over the summer—indicating the traditional beginnings of “prep posse.”
Over the next few days, the group solidifies with some dropping out and others joining. Like an audition for the main stage, the first few days of prep fall are the cuts. Prep posse consists of the “lead” actors and actresses of prep fall while the other preps fall into the back scene as “supporting” roles—the chorus. Spotted in Agora or Grill, the quad or Stillwell’s, the group always travels as one. They are the first ones to lose their lanyards, the ones that stay out until 8 p.m. check-in on school nights and hang out in co-ed groups in Cilley basement.
The ring of “prep posse” clashes with the ear. Negativity and whispers of gossip permeate from the single utterance of the phrase. Known among all Exonians, even the preps, prep posse is the “worst.” The very preps in prep posse deny their inclusion, and other preps vow to never be like them. But why is there this rampant dislike generated toward prep posse? What is it? It is only a facade.
The prep posse preps that deny their inclusion secretly gleam from the compliment of being thought of as one of them, the “in” group. The other preps who vow to never join prep posse secretly want to be them, watching them in awed fear as they pass them on the path, hoping for a “hello.” These attitudes are a simple matter of human nature, of the allure of inclusion and popularity. There’s nothing wrong with that. No one wants to be a supporting role. The first few weeks of prep fall are a flurry. It’s the time of first impressions, and for some, a fresh start. Exeter is a totally new world and experience for many preps, and people are just trying to find their home in Exeter. Prep fall is the footing for whom you will be and become in the next four years. Simply put, everyone is new, and everyone wants to make friends. Prep posse has just become the natural product of those reagents. No wonder prep posse has formed every year.
While many acknowledge the formation of prep posse as inevitable, many still argue that it creates an exclusive and cliquey environment that can painfully reject and pressure new students still unsure what Exeter is all about. And, indeed, I must concede that the prep posse culture does, in part, foster such an atmosphere. Students feel pressured to push off homework and hang out more or to create a new identity to fit in and become a prep posse member. For those students who wanted to be in prep posse but, upon the fifth day or so, realized they didn’t quite make it, it hurts to be left out. For preps, the prep posse is a huge deal. They seem to rule the school. They have fun. They seem confident and brave, supposedly already knowing the ins and outs of Exeter while you’re still trying to figure out which building is the Academy Building and which one is Phillips Hall. Everyone, it seems, knows who the prep posse members are, and in that moment, it seems that no one knows who you are.
My advice: don’t think that way. Exeter, though not without its faults, is the most inclusive and loving home. I feel so lucky and grateful to have found this place. With students from every corner of the world and of all shapes and sorts of socioeconomic and cultural backgrounds and personalities, Exeter has a niche for everyone. For those preps who are still unsure what Exeter is all about, Exeter is a home. It does not fit the stereotypical boarding school image. Thank God. We are not all politically high strung and savvy. Though we are most definitely all gifted and intelligent in our own ways, we are not super geniuses with the solutions to all the problems in the world. We are not elitists who scoff at the holes in a man’s sweater, not just some rich kids with legacy parents who play golf and drink tea at the clubhouse.
We are just a bunch of normal kids united by an opportunity of a lifetime. Exonians do not ace every test or every paper. Exonians do not lock themselves in their rooms to study for the next four years straight, to never see sunlight and fun again. Exonians challenge themselves. Exonians study and learn vast amounts, but they also play instruments, hang out at Me & Ollie’s, read books to children at the local children’s center, cheer at the top of their lungs at E/a and laugh until their stomachs hurt and until they can’t remember what they were laughing at to begin with on late nights in the dorms. Exonians have insecurities, faults and weaknesses, and there’s no need to ever hide them. Being an Exonian means being you.
At Exeter, I have found a family that accepts me for exactly who I am. Big sisters who still look out for me each and every day even after graduating. A crazy group of best friends that understands me inside and out, enough to dance with me in the middle of the quad, eat every meal with me and to share all my secrets with. I have found clubs and sports teams that I have fallen in love with and dedicated all my free time to because I simply enjoy them.
And this beloved and admirable inclusiveness of Exeter is perhaps what has led to the negativity toward prep posse. At Exeter, where popularity for the most part is not a concern, the yearly presence of prep posse disturbs our proud quality of community unity and inclusion. We’d like to think that our school is different from typical high schools and their famous social orders, and in some ways, we absolutely are. However, although more interconnected between groups, social groups exist at Exeter as well. We’re teenagers. People don’t hate prep posse; people hate that even our dear Exeter cannot fully evade the grasps of high school social dynamics and rifts.
The formation of prep posse has almost become a rite of passage at Exeter, a moment every four-year remembers. Despite complaints and efforts, prep posse will form, and there’s no purpose in trying to prevent its natural and relentless formation. Rather, it is the perspective that we view prep posse with that must change and the way older students nurture the image of Exeter to new students. We must show to students still trying to learn about Exeter that Exeter has a home and family for everyone; whether that be in prep posse or in a dorm group or something else, it doesn’t matter. They are all just as good.
To the preps in prep posse, Exonians do not hate you. To the preps who aren’t in prep posse, you will find your Exeter niche, and to the preps who want to be in prep posse, go for it, but don’t lose yourself in the process. Prep posse dissipates. True friendships don’t. ♥