Flipping the Wrong Switches
The alleged St. Paul’s rape case has raised a lot of fingers over the summer. The well-reputed school has denied any responsibility to the shocking matter, declaring “allegations about our culture are not emblematic of our school or our values, our rules or the people that represent our student body, alumni, faculty and staff.” Other prestigious boarding schools have provided varying responses, ranging from silence to adopting new school rules relating to consent and visitation hours, as Andover has. Exeter has recently joined this drift by deciding to run future “evening prayers” with the lights on.
The motive behind this change is obvious: to prevent potential sexual assault. But whether the change is going to achieve this is indeed questionable. “Evening prayer,” commonly referred to as EP, with lights off is a deeply ingrained part of Exeter culture. For years, students of Exeter have enjoyed Tuesday evenings with friends, lovers or possible lovers and have relaxed to smooth music and the equally soothing voice of Reverend Thompson in the darkness. EP is also a place of fond memories for many generations of Exonians. I recall a cute anecdote from the first EP of every year—an Exonian alumni couple ended up marrying in the Exeter church, with Rev himself giving the proclamations. The darkness plays a big role in making these memories special. It attributes a mystical and relaxing atmosphere, as you are urged to focus only on your audial senses. The lulling music only reaches your ears more compellingly than it would have had with lights on. The fact that all your other senses are put to sleep, at least momentarily, provides an even more positively serene experience. Keeping lights on in EP would set an atmosphere no different than a public concert. This change, while supposedly preventing sexual assault, robbed Exeter of a cherished and unique tradition.
Do lights really serve as a shield against the atrocities of sexual assault? Or more significantly, is EP really the place in need of this protection? The most likely places for dissented sexual acts are certainly settings of isolation and darkness—but some place where it is unlikely that people will be able to witness or hear the cries of the victim. EP, despite having been dark, is also very crowded, and sounds are easily picked up due to the soft, ambiant atmosphere. Were a sexual assault to occur, it is highly unlikely that the victim will be unable to get help.
The fact that Exeter is willing to make changes is important. It is definitely taking a step farther than other elite boarding schools that have refused to be associated with the recent trial of the St. Paul’s alumnus. But it must be recognized that rape culture is a big part of boarding schools, and the characteristics of privilege, power and freedom of its students tend to be expressed in various forms, such as hook-up cultures, which consequently nurture the rape culture. It exists everywhere, especially in boarding schools, and Exeter is certainly not an exception. There should be no reason to worry about blemishing our school’s reputation from admitting its existence.
Indeed, there can be no cure for something that hasn’t even been diagnosed. We need to urgently find this solution, which comes in the form of adopting realistic rules that prevent the hook-up culture from growing into a form of potential crime, as it did for St. Paul’s. Had Exeter completely turned its back against the recent rape case of St. Paul’s, the school would have taken a huge step backwards from the receptivity and transparency it claims to strive for.
Zoha Qamar ‘15 recently published an article on the Jezebel on the topic of rape culture at Exeter. I wholeheartedly agreed with her assertion of Exeter trying to focus on “symptoms rather than causes” when they tried to rid the rape culture. It was blatant that the solutions previously attempted were flippant. As pointed out by Zoha, the no-grinding rule in school dances was an extravagant move by the Exeter administration fresh after Mr. Labrie’s charges were put forth. But they also ended up posting their final decision not to enforce the rule on The Exonian— “Just to be clear, we haven’t created any new policy. However, … it became clear that faculty chaperones and students have both been made to feel uncomfortable at dances due to various forms of grinding.” Instead of making any significant changes, they posted an official statement on the school newspaper claiming its disapproval of the contemporary culture of the Exonians. What positive changes the administration intended from this statement are still nebulous.
What Exeter needs to become is a school receptive to talking about the subsisting rape culture. Zoha’s claim of the Feminist Union being humiliatingly assaulted when attempting to hold discussions of issues related to sexual assault is unacceptable. Platforms where transparent talks of the prevailing and pernicious aspects of the school are held will lead to acceptance and sooner to realistic and potential solutions. Whether Exeter believes it has already built an environment well prepared against sexual assault is relatively insignificant if the rape culture presently exists, be it still small or already big. Exeter needs to make new moves, and its move has been to turn lights on in evening prayer. In my eyes, Exeter is flipping the wrong switches.