Mentor To All
“To be here, you have to know Mrs. Parris,” modern languages instructor Jacqueline Flores said. Fortunately, many Exonians already do. Admired for her warmth, unmatched patience and care for others, Pamela Parris is a friend and mentor to many.
At Exeter, Parris coordinates the Academic Support office, manages peer tutoring and even holds individual conferences with students.
As modern language instructor Ming Fontaine said, “Mrs. Parris is not just a friendly face many hope to run into on campus.” For many students, Parris has been integral in their growth, both in and out of the classroom because of her dedicated work in the Peer Tutoring Office.
“Mrs. Parris has played many roles at Exeter with all the care and love for her students as if they were her own children,” Linda Hardej, from the Office of Administrative Support, said.
Senior Meena Jagadeesan recalls finding inspiration in a conversation with Parris about overcoming the struggles of being a female in the male-dominated STEM fields. Parris reached out to the then-lower after she expressed an interest in math during a peer tutoring session. Jagadeesan is now a head tutor in Parris’ club.
Parris started the Peer Tutoring club with the advice of mathematics instructor Anja Greer, who wanted to combat the “old ‘sink or swim’ philosophy” at Exeter, according to Parris. “The idea that, if you come here and you fail, well, okay, we all tried, now you can go home” didn’t make sense to Parris.
Meeting on the third floor of the Academy Center from 7-9 p.m. Sunday through Thursday, peer tutoring is a place for students to collaborate and learn from each other. With many tutors that specialize in multiple subjects, students are guaranteed to find the explanations for which they are looking for. Different tutors work each night, so there are many options for understanding, which means “if you don’t find the help you want one night, don’t give up, please, come again!” Parris said.
Parris’ favorite aspect of peer tutoring is “the fact that some people come to give help in one subject and get help in another.” She enjoys the helpful atmosphere that does not shame students looking for extra help. “We think of [seeking help] as a sign of maturity and strength. Everybody needs help with something in their lifetime,” she said.
With this philosophy in mind, Parris encourages all students to take part in peer tutoring, whether as a tutor or tutee. “[Tutors] find, just as teachers do, that when you have to take it apart in your mind, and help someone else see the basics of it, you really learn something about it yourself that you didn’t realize before,” she said, highlighting the benefits of being a tutor.
For students like upper Francelis Morillo-Suarez, her relationship with Mrs. Parris began through tutoring. Morillo-Suarez has been meeting with her once a week for French help since prep year. Since then, Parris has become an important part of her life here. “She has helped me with my own personal goals and given me a lot of advice,” Morillo-Suarez said.
In these individual conferences, “We talk about whatever they want,” Parris said. Popular topics include “time-management, test preparation, test anxiety, reading load and paper-writing,” she added. “I also look at college essays, even though I’m not a college counselor, just in terms of how they’re constructed and whether they really say something about you that sounds positive,” she said.
In a remark about Parris, Flores said “you can see that she wants the student to take advantage of the extra help, and she wants the student to be successful.” Jagadeesan echoed these thoughts. “[She] genuinely cares about and sees the best in all the kids and tutors she works with,” she said.
This was made especially clear through Parris’ own words about the program. Her message to students: “Please come! We have tutoring in almost every subject. You never need an appointment or anything, you can just come.”
Mrs. Parris’ students are not the only members of the community to have been touched by her warmth and selflessness. Parris is adored by many members of the faculty as well.
Fontaine remembers Parris reaching out to her to quell her nerves as a new teacher. “She approached me and immediately engaged me by asking about my children and saying she had a five-year-old daughter, too,” Fontaine said. “From that moment on, she has been a constant in my Exeter life and beyond. She was even there on my daughter’s wedding day.”
Hardej even said Parris acted as a “second mother” to her daughter while she attended Exeter. “In my mind, she is woven into the community fabric and integral to making all the positive things about Exeter true,” Fontaine said.