Life Advice: Girl Help 101

Q1: “So I'm obviously new here, and i have absolutely zero experience with girls. How do I ask a girl out here?”Mason: Lets be real, Stillwells, EP, or a walk down Swasey is the key to her heart. Either that or buy her a buffalo chicken calzone or some sushi from Pad Thai.Yusuke: There are a lot of students here so it will take some time meeting new people. With that being said, if you want to meet girls you can try joining clubs to see if there are others that share the same interests as you. The key is to not rush things, you’ve got a long school year ahead of you to meet people.Q2: “How do you show a girl a good time at EP? I’ve never been and I really want to make a good impression. I heard how many times you go to EP correlates with how popular you are.”Mason: Make sure you specify that you’re a prep first. Next step? Make sure your shoulders don't touch. Also, breathe really loudly if you want her to really fall for you.Q3: “How do you make a move on a girl in class?”Mason: Forget your books for class and use that as an excuse to huddle closer to your girl. Bring some snacks for extra points. If you’re willing to go the extra nine yards, bring her a biscotti frappuccino with whipped cream and skim milk.Yusuke: Disagree with all her points so that she knows you speak your mind, girls love that stuff. Wink at her from across the table every few minutes to remind her that you’re interested.Q4: “Earlier in the year I completely embarrassed myself in front of my crush, how can I make a rebound and get myself back on her radar?”Yusuke: Show her your matches on Tinder to make her jealous. When she knows you’re sought after, she’ll feel like she’s missing out. Try posting on her Facebook wall and proclaiming your love for her so she knows it’s real. If that doesn’t work you might have to go to extreme measures and try singing to her in Grill. Not Plan A but I’ve seen it work in some extreme cases. Never give up, if a girl initially shows no interest, she will eventually after she sees your dedication.”Mason: Impress her with your taste in music by making her an Ace Hood Mixtape. Girls love trap music.Q5: “How can I approach a girl at the gym without smelling terrible and driving her away.”Mason: Old Spice and brown rice, my friend.Yusuke: Even if you smell bad, it won’t matter if you’re benching 250. Make sure you tell her how much you can deadlift, bench and squat. Also make sure your flow is extra sweaty and shiny. Biologically, the point of sweat and the smells it emits is to attract potential mates so you should be a-ok.

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