Top 10 Havens for Assembly Dickers
By KAYLEE GONG ‘28
Sometimes, when you look around during weekly assemblies at the red benches, the oil paintings that adorn the walls, and squint hard at the speaker, you will notice a large gap in the student population. Even though some students are miserably watching in the Forum, there still is a questionable amount of people missing from your advisory or friends. Maybe your advisor is taking attendance in the back or asking you to text a selfie. Nevertheless, there is no denying the constant amount of assembly dickers. So, where is everyone hiding?
1. Library: Any of the Mezzanine Floors have become a hotspot. Sit on the main floor if you’re brave, but carrels are the way to go..
2. Dorm Room: All Exonians can always use more sleep time. Plus, no one will find you hiding in your room. Just make sure to come out when you hear people coming back from Assembly or set an alarm..
3. Town: You have to time it right and make sure you can get back in time, but an extra coffee never hurts. Walk undercover through downtown, hoodie up, avoiding all faculty members (they should be at assembly). St. Anthony’s and D2 are definitely the most popular, but Inkwell in the IOKA is a new great option as well.
4. Dining Halls: This one is a little risky for avoiding lurking faculty, but the mezzanine of Elm, the second floor of Wetherall, or any corner are good spots to knock out some homework..
5. Day Student Lounge: Classic spot. Just be careful of the strange day students who are perpetually stuck in the DSL..
6. EPAC Basement: There are so many hidden, extra rooms down there. Apparently, there is a game room and kitchen. Honestly, I doubt anyone could find you down there. Just be careful of the teachers coming down from the 3rd floor EPAC at the Forum.7. 7. Lamont Health Center: Let’s hope you’re not actually sick and get stuck there for much longer than you had wished for, but the HC is a pretty good excuse for when you get caught dickying. Just remember that the chances you’ll miss your next class are concerningly high.
8. Science Building Couches: For Southside residents, this isn’t a bad place to nap. Just make sure you don’t get caught and publicly humiliated.
9. Music Center: The Harkness table hidden in there is always a good place to get some work done. If there are some other brave Assembly dickers who can play music, enjoy that too.
10. Goel: Didn’t know this was a spot to study, but maybe that’s what makes it such a good spot to hide.
Whether you are a frequent D2 customer or have a strict advisor, just remember that fun assemblies are always around the corner! But when the time is right, go for it! #LongLiveDickingAssembly