“Sign My Sheet!” and the Corruption of My Sanity

By JILLIAN CHENG ‘27 and ALEX LIM ‘27

The Protagonist 

Person A: H-h-hey there…..would you mind signing my signature sheet~~~

Person B: Um…okay. Why are you running?

Person A: I want to leave my mark on Exeter! I won’t let my name be forgotten — it’ll ring through these halls for eternity! It’ll be my legacy…What is a legacy? It’s planting seeds in a garden I’ll never get to see. I’m going to be the next StuCo president! Believe it!

Person B: Oh.

The Promiser

Person A: Hey, do you mind signing my sheet?

Person B: Yeah, of course. What do you want to do as president?

Person A: Like you know, the typical stuff: serve better food, organize more events, approve closed door V’s, hand out ten fatigues per term, give permission to use AI, allow more parties, get rid of check in, make classes optional, solve world hunger, fix racism, and cure cancer, you know?

Person B: How are you going to do that?

Person A: I guess you won’t know until you vote for me!

The College Sweat

Person A: Hey…sorry to bother you, could you sign my sheet?

Person B: Okay sure, why are you running?

Person A: I don’t know, like it just seems fun I guess.

Person B: Can you elaborate on that?

Person A: Yeah I just want to give back to my community and you know, it’s definitely a community with lots of student voices that have opinionated opinions. 

Person B: Um, okay. Do you even think you’re a good candidate?

Person A: You know…there’s definitely better people out there, but like I’ll listen to the community or whatever. Plus, it looks good on my resume. 

Person B: Okay…  

The Bragger

Person A: Hey! How are you?

Person B: I’m good, what’s up?

Person A: I was wondering if you could sign my sheet for StuCo. I’m running for president!!

Person B: Yeah, sure. I didn’t know you were into StuCo like that. Why are you a good candidate?

Person A: Well…right now I’m a dorm rep, but I was StuCo president all throughout middle school, and I was vice president of the fifth grade. Not only that, but in fourth grade I was the line leader, which is crazy because in third grade I was the caboose. Talk about an upgrade! Oh right, and in second grade, I was the door holder! And on top of that, in preschool I was the designated hamster carer. So yeah, I have like 15 years of experience? 

Person B: Sure…