How To Get Along with the Spirits in your Dorm Basement

By CARLY CANSECO ‘27

It’s that time again. You desperately text and call everybody you know in your dorm, hoping someone will agree to come down there with you. Nobody responds. It’s 12:00 AM. You’re wearing your last pair of clean socks and have no choice. You must do your laundry. As you make the treacherous trek from the third floor to the basement, you feel your heart sink to your stomach. You feel your stomach churn. The light flickers on, and the silence is deafening. No other sound can be heard except your feet shuffling as you approach the laundry room. You quickly throw your laundry in, ignoring the setting you put it on and how much detergent you splashed in. It doesn’t matter. You need to get out ASAP. As you face the machines, the door slams shut behind you. Suddenly, the lights start flickering. The laundry machine begins to spin. You didn’t press start. Forget the laundry — you can re-wear socks at least once, right? You spring the door open and race towards the stairwell, then run till you’re safe in the comfort of your room. Then, you send your parents a text. Please, please, please, let me get E&R so I don’t have to go down to the haunted basement. Hopefully, they will understand the gravity of your situation and will grant your request. In the meantime, here are some tips to battle the spirits in your dorm basement. 

Milk and Cookie Approach

This is a cliche strategy and depends on the tastes of the spirits living in your dorm. Spirits also can’t eat food…so this one might not work at all.

Nonchalant Approach

Try to act calm and unafraid. If you believe there are no ghosts in the basement, that means there has to be none, right? I mean, it’s obvious that ghosts aren’t real, right..?

Bring a Friend Approach

If you bring a friend, that reduces the likelihood of you being attacked. It reduces your one hundred percent chance down to a whopping fifty percent. This is definitely the most effective strategy.