Mailroom Shenanigans

By JINMIN LEE ‘26, SAM ALTMAN ‘26

Exonians flood the Mailroom after classes to collect packages or tests teachers left in their P.O. boxes. From failing to open combination locks to seeing your friends behind the counter to its scary threats, the Mailroom has its fair share of drama.

One of the most humorous sights for an aged Exonian in the newsroom is a scene of students struggling, phone in hand, toiling back and forth with the lock. Sometimes, you’ll see them squinting with one eye, trying desperately to line up the exact right millimeter, and then realizing that their package was actually just on the wall. They also think the “wall” is a physical wall and look around, bewildered. Other times, when they finally get the combination right, they’ll yank the lock too hard in one direction or the other and are forced to start over. They yell in frustration but are somehow too prideful to ask for help. Don’t help them.

There is a darker side to the Mailroom. If you don’t pick up your package for a while, the Mailroom will report you for burdening them with your baggage. The Mailroom will email you with your advisor CC’d and say, “If your package is not picked up in the next 10 days, then you risk disciplinary action for packages @ the mailroom for greater than 30 days.” Beware. Caveat Emptor.

Finally, there’s something undeniably awkward about ringing the bell at the Mailroom window to request service. As you watch the clerks sort hundreds of packages into their respective locations, you’re forced to interrupt it all to ask if they can go fetch your 100-pack of instant ramen. It’s even worse if the face that shows up is that one friend from English class. But the dopamine rush from opening your long-awaited Amazon package outweighs it all.