Headlines of the Week (You Know, If We Were in Charge of News)

By Jack Archer

1. Two old men get into an argument, accidentally end up on TV

2. Eric Trump is self-proclaimed member of the LGBTQ+ community but not really but kind of but…what?

3. Toronto Maple Leafs don’t win the NHL, non-hockey players confused as to why this happened

4. Messy eaters of PEA launch augmented menu for Exeter squirrel community

5. Baron Trump to star in coming-of-age anime based off the Lion King where Scar and Mufasa switch roles

That’s a joke but imagine haha….unless?

Think about it: Baron Trump goes through a heart wrenching journey of realizing the father figure in his life is not someone he can look up to, and must navigate life as no one’s man but his own

6. CROODS 2! CROODS 2 IS COMING NOVEMBER 25!

Man am I excited to go see the Croods 2: A New Age premiering in theaters November 25

I am also very excited to see the Croods

Cool! Hey… Would you want to maybe, you know, see it together?

No what I always watch the Croods alone