The Five Preps You Will (or Won’t) See in the Hallway

By Adam Tuchler

1. The Prep Posse: This prep arrives on campus already affiliated with 15-20 extroverted preps. They have a 6th sense that alerts them when another posse member is nearby.

2. The Hockey-Laxer: About 1 in every 4-5 preps plays both hockey and lacrosse. If you pay close enough attention, you can easily distinguish them. If they are holding a hockey stick, you know you’ve spotted one.

3. The Shy Prep: You probably heard their name once at the start of the year. They can rarely be seen at certain hours of the night walking to and from the bathroom. After that brief interaction, they won’t be spotted again for another 20 hours.

4. The Gamer: Much like the shy prep, the gamer, too, hardly leaves their room. Instead they prefer the cool, led-lit environment of their 130 square foot emergency double (just kidding, it’s a single this year).

5. The Lower: Much to your disappointment, this prep is in fact not a prep at all. These lowers use their prep disguise as a survival tactic to gain sympathy from their teachers.