It’s 11:43 P.M., and I Haven’t Started My Homework: Tales of Infamous Procrastinators
By MARYN BOWMAN ‘28
If you’ve ever found yourself lying on your bed or staring at the ceiling while a Canvas calendar full of looming assignments glares at you from your laptop screen, you’re not alone. At Exeter, procrastination isn’t just a habit; it’s practically an art form. Here are some of the funniest and most creative procrastination techniques, directly from students who have mastered the craft.
Some procrastintion techniques are productive. “I once decided to reorganize my entire dorm room instead of studying for my math test,” confessed a prep. “I even moved my shelf to the other side of the room and reorganized my books. I told myself I’d be able to focus better in a ‘new environment.’”
Others take it to a whole new level, attempting to improve their baking skills in their quest to avoid work. One particularly absurd story stood out: A lower procrastinated on her paper for two weeks and suddenly decided she needed to bake a key lime pie. Two hours later, she had a key lime pie, but at last, she wasn’t any closer to completing her paper.
Unsurprisingly, videos and TV are classic procrastination traps. “I was supposed to write a lab report,” admitted one lower, “but I spent hours watching videos about ‘the world’s most dangerous hiking trails.’ I don’t even like hiking.” Another student confessed to binge-watching two entire seasons of Squid Game the day before a test.
Social media, of course, is a universal distraction. As a prep, I often tell myself I’ll just spend one more minute scrolling, but that “one minute” often turns into hours of mindless swiping.
Once, my friend and I were trying to put off our history readings, and for some reason, we needed to find out the distance from Virginia to Exeter (neither of us knew anything about Virginia). Then, we decided to convert the distance from Taipei to Exeter from flight miles to miles on the ground based on the distance from Virginia to Exeter. Yeah, we did that.
Of course, the key identifier of any great procrastinator is pulling it all together at the last minute. One student described their “down to the wire” moment: “I wrote an entire essay in 90 minutes. My hands were shaking, and I was so stressed. Somehow, I got a B. Like I’m not proud, but also kind of proud.”
Procrastination may not be the most efficient strategy, but it’s certainly one of the most entertaining. While these techniques might not win any awards for time management, they do highlight the ingenuity and humor of Exeter students facing the eternal battle of work. So, the next time you’re lying on your bed at 11:43 p.m. with a pile of unfinished assignments, remember: at least you’re not alone.