If Exeter Was...

1.A city: Detroit. Dark and cold, no nightlife, but a proud history of manufacturing (academic) machines. Then China made the machines better. Welp.

2.A restaurant: Subway. Tastes ok, good for you, but you hardly feel like a king while eating it, and you’re exhausted when you’re done.

3.A clothing brand: Old Navy. A successful establishment, tries to be affordable to all, but the cool kids will laugh at the athletic selection.

4.A president: Franklin Pierce. HAHAHAHAHAHA OUR ONE PRESIDENTIAL ALUM WAS A FRAT BOY PARTY ANIMAL WHO LOW-KEY STARTED THE CIVIL WAR.

5.A Sports Team: Oakland A’s/Green Bay Packers. Though there are the Miami Heat, Detroit Lions, and a few others, the proud old-fashioned allure and cold home-field makes sense. As for the A’s, the owner’s an alum, but the team is most famous for a nerdy scouting philosophy, and our little-brother relationship with the blue school is analogous to Oakland and the Giants.