A Day Stud Compares Dorm Rivalries

Langdell vs. Merrill 

The two dorms buttressing Weth have a natural location-based rivalry, as the combatants walk the same paths to their dorms, only splitting once they actually arrive. I would say that who you favor in this face-off depends on whether you dine on Weth’s “Merrill” or “Langdell” side. Granted, Merrill is ten feet closer to Stillwell’s, but I’m giving the edge to Langdell because I’ve wasted God knows how many hours staring at the steam coming off the corner of their roof. Bonus points for having a cheer that, though uninspiring, isn’t a cookie-cutter “Lang-Dell!” So, to the ladies in Columbia blue, I say “Yoo-Hoo!”

Edge: Langdell

Abbott vs. Soule

Two of the oldest dorms on campus mean charming, if relatively out-dated, facilities. But spiral staircases lose their novelty pretty fast if you ask me, and for 8 a.m. class, the five-foot-longer walk to the Academy Building feels like miles. To be fair, purple is kinda cool, and the Abbotteers need to up their mascot game, but they take this one.

Edge: Abbott

Hoyt vs. Peabody (Anti-Peabody jokes are overdone, Anti-Peabody jokes are overdone, Anti-Peabody jokes are overdone.) We’ll chalk this one up to proximity to Weth and the bookstore, and leave it at that. *voice jumps six octaves* “Hoyt Hall!”

Edge: Hoyt

Front Street, I mean Browning, I mean Front Street vs. Lamont. Wait, this is a rivalry?

Edge: Living next to parking lots, Dinosaurs, Dorm gear designers, and “B-Haus” jokes.

Ewald vs. Main Street

This really just boils down to whether you like Moose or Rhinos more.

Edge: Crosswalks, Horned mascots.

Amen vs. Wheelwright

Each dorm overlooks the entire campus, one at the edge of North side, the other South side. Both are overshadowed in terms of clout by another girls’ dorm of their respective sides of campus, Amen by Dunbar, Wheelwright by Hoyt... so this is basically a battle for third place. But for God’s sake, Amen’s floors are CARPETED. Wheelwright is hopping on... picture day.

Edge: Amen

Bancroft vs. McConnell

On the one hand, I find something about a dorm nicknamed “Banc” and flamingos really dope. On the other, the out-of-the-way location is annoying. McConnell certainly does nothing to distinguish itself.

Edge: Flamingos

Dunbar vs. Webster

The fact that these two are the the largest boys’ and girls’ dorms raises a big problem; either way, lots of people are gonna be mad at me. So, I am Tonight’s Biggest Loser.

Edge: Not humor readers.

Wentworth vs. Cilley

Bulls are cool, but foursquare is a poor-man’s Cilley Ball. Also, Cilley is the one dorm I’ve actually lived in (preseason a year ago), so it has been blessed with this Day-Stud’s presence.

Edge: Cilley

Previous
Previous

Types of Screams

Next
Next

Quotes of the Week