Nightmare on Elm Street

After a strenuous and physically challenging two hours of Prep Spaz, I went to Elm Street DHall for a nice breakfast. However, I was met with locked doors and I immediately began to feel the effects of hunger. Doesn’t the Exeter website advertise that the dining halls are open from 7am to 7pm? Many other preps looked at each other in confusion and I asked the gods, “Why me? Which sin am I being punished for now? Is this because of that one time I didn’t like that Instagram post about loving God in 0.03 seconds?” Then I began to think about the other bad things I’ve done recently. Perhaps I should have joined an ESSO club instead of keeping up with my Snapchat streaks. Or maybe I shouldn’t have eaten so much ice cream since I have arrived at Exeter. I may never get to the bottom of this cruel punishment, but as I made my weary way back to my dorm someone pointed out that Wetherell was open and that as a vegan, I should prefer to go to the more vegan-friendly dining hall anyway. No. I will only eat at Elm because, like Kendrick Lamar, I got loyalty inside my DNA.

However, I was met with locked doors and I immediately began to feel the effects of hunger.