Top 10 Tips For Incoming Preps

(Note: This list is not designed for new lowers, who are infinitely cooler than the preps ever will be. You guys should take none of this advice.)

1. To get to know people, try hanging out in The Grill. It’s in The Agora right across from The P.O. Who knows, maybe you’ll even meet someone who will take you to The Stillwells for a date, and then you’ll have someone to go to The EP with.

2. Speaking of romance, wait at least one week before dating anyone. People will definitely reveal their true personalities within about five days, but the extra two days of character development will definitely help.

3. Spend as much time as possible in Wentworth.

4. Tell everyone, especially Uppers, about all of your stress! Prep fall is by far the most difficult term of your Exeter experience, so everyone, especially Uppers, are both understanding and very concerned about your wellbeing.

5. On the topic of grades, you should think about them as much as possible. Breaks are for losers and true Exonians work until they catch an illness from chronic stress, and then THEY KEEP WORKING. Honestly I’m not sure why you’re reading this at all, if you’ve gotten to the point where you’re reading the humor section then you’re definitely procrastinating.

6. Join Quizbowl (Friday 7:00 PAC).

7. At assembly, stand up before the speaker is finished. It’s seen as polite that you want to leave so quickly. In fact, if you want to really show off, stand up and walk out mid-speech. And if you’re feeling really wild, just don’t show up at all. You aren’t missing world class opportunities.

8. Don’t bother writing to the humor section. We’re so overflowed with hysterical content (see: this article) that your Trump jokes pale in comparison to our hard work. We don’t write our articles in ten minutes on an iPhone.

9. ODR upperclassmen. We find it daring and bold. Consider also: asking us out.

10. Lanyards are forever & always!!!!!!! Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.