Things to Do When Your Roommate Gets (Illegal) V’s

Place a whoopee cushion under the covers before they come into the room.

Make sure your roommate is logged into Netflix Kids—you wouldn’t want any inappropriate scenes to come on.

Place a speaker under the pillow and start playing “Let’s Get It On” or anything by Nickleback to up the romance.

Do homework quietly at your desk (scratching pencils and sobs of frustration are very romantic to Exonians).

Hang up a bunch of pictures of the prospective V’ee on your roommate’s side of the ceiling right before they enter.

Hang up a bunch of pictures of the prospective V’ee on your side of the ceiling right before they enter.

Whisper “She’s been preparing for this since lower fall” and leave the room before anyone can say anything.

Alert a dorm fac IMMEDIATELY because illegal V’s are VERY WRONG.