13 Things You Can Buy With 1.15 Billion Dollars (aka the School’s Entire Endowment)

1. 230,000,000 decks of Uno Cards

2. 3.1 Billion grill cookies

3. 750 Million bottles of Diet Coke

4. 1.15 Billion teacher bribes

5. 1 guaranteed ride to college

6. Mr. McConnell’s Hair

7. Cos will let you check in at 10:09 pm on a school night

8. 103,333,333 grey hockey boy beanies

9. An A in any English Class

10. 2,794 piggyback rides from Lisa

11. Phillips Andover + 150 Million left over

12. Phillips Exeter Academy

13. The U.S. Presidency