Billy Reacts: Donald Trump’s Win

Hey you guys! My name is Billy O’Handley, commonly known as Billy from Cilley. I am a writer for the humor page. Let me tell you about my night a couple Tuesdays ago.

I decided to get a jump on my article early. Since Clinton was obviously going to win the election, I decided to write an article about how the most important thing that happened on Tuesday night was the Brooklyn Nets winning a game, with the joke being that the Brooklyn Nets winning was much more surprising than Clinton winning the election. I finished the article, and went downstairs to check out the election coverage. I don’t remember much about the night afterwards. From the videos on my phone I now know that I ran up and down the stairs in Cilley Hall singing “Oh Canada” at 2 a.m. and that I covered my face in hair gel and went into people’s rooms screaming “I’M THE HAIR GEL MONSTER” at 4 a.m.

I had a good joke lined up just in case Trump won, just as a contingency measure, but I was going to put it in another article titled “The jokes I would have made if Trump became president.” I guess I’ll just put it in this article instead.

If Clinton won, we would have had the First Man, but now, we have the Third Lady.

I actually don’t know what to do or what to think. I didn’t actually think that this was even a possibility until it happened. And now it’s happened.

Well, at least writing for the humor page is going to be easy.