The Exonian’s 139th Board Turnovers
The Exonian, the Academy’s school newspaper, will hold board turnovers earlier in the year than anticipated due to one major change. Since the newspaper’s inception on July 4, 1776, staff positions have been occupied by students of Phillips Exeter, but due to recent concerns about management, those positions will now be occupied by members of the administration. This will enable the administration to move from the sibling-like (big brother-esque, if you will) relationship with Exonian writers and advisers.
Proposed articles from the administration include pieces such as Students Appreciate Peer Tutoring, Big Red Has Fun Despite Loss, Dining Hall Salads are Healthy and We Love our Superiors. Noting the upcoming articles, an administrative member said, “I’m very pleased that we get to finally portray the real Exeter. Student rhetoric always got in the way of making The Exonian great again.”
Surprisingly, some students think that the turnover is a bad idea. “I want to relate to my authority figures as little as possible,” commented senior Phil Collins. “Although I am sure that their news articles would be wholly unbiased, I think that I can live without sports commentary on how similar our football team is to the one back in ’32. And people would be compelled to nervously laugh at the humor section more often than usual.”
“There will be a lot of dad jokes,” predicted soothsayer Peter Gabriel. “And as someone who came to Exeter in order to escape her parents and ultimately disappear until it’s time for college and become even more financially dependent on family, I just can’t respect that.”
Even more, the possibility of school politics being a factor in the turnover worries Exonians. Average thinker Jack Black stated, “We can’t give the administration the power to determine what should and shouldn’t be said in The Exonian. We have a moral obligation to make the school newspaper as true to the students as possible.”
Still, the administration raised an interesting point against critics. One member said, “I bet they’re all conservatives, and we don’t like those, right?”
In conclusion, I wish the administration luck. It’s not easy pleasing everyone.