Italian Guy Visits

In addition to the Monsignor Daniel Gallagher who recently visited from the Vatican, an Italian man named Sandro Botticelli stayed on campus this past weekend. From what we gathered here at The Exonian, Botticelli came to grace us all with divine Italian knowledge. Exonians had mixed reactions to his presence.

“I loved meeting an Italian dude,” claimed prep Emma Cohen. “Italy is my favorite part of Canada.” Cohen had the chance to attend one of Botticelli’s street corner seminars. These consisted of the Italian man chanting the same incomprehensible words over and over again, allowing the majority of passersby to only catch phrases like “parmigiano” and “Mama mia! That’s a spicy meatball!” Preps like Emma Cohen took these sentiments to heart. “I think those are words I can live by,” she stated.

“I teach Latin, the real Italian,” reported Megan Campbell of the classics department. “So I think I was able to make a fairly accurate translation. When he said, ‘Dove sono? Questo posto ha un cattivo odore,’ he meant, ‘Hello everyone! I love you all to the moon and back.’”

By noon on Sunday, Botticelli had amassed a following of seventeen students, a count roughly equal to the number of students that attend assembly. Botticelli could not shake the crowd, no matter where he went. Despite the fact that he went into the woods, all around town, and even by the history department, the followers remained loyal. “It was almost like he was trying to get away from us,” complained upper Bel Amaral. “At one point he started running, but I figured that was something that Italians just did.”

Sandro Botticelli boarded the train headed back north on Monday, leaving behind a herd of newly-learned Exonians and the hint of a better, more Italian future for Exeter as a whole.