Dorm Vs. Dorm: Five Ways to Waste Your Time

1. Start packing your bags three weeks before the last day of school (that’s how much you want to leave.

2. Take a practice permit test online because it isn’t procrastinating, it’s called being  productive.

3. Start spontaneously watching Game of Throne knowing you’ll have to get through six seasons. What’s better than finding a new passion that will allow you to procrastinate for months??

4. Talk to your parents about anything. Soon they forget you have homework and you ‘forget’ to glance at the clock.

5. Chat. Tell your friends that you’ll be productive together because who really does homework alone in their room? Give yourself five minutes to chat and soon enough you’ll see it has been an hour and counting.

Dorm vs. Dorm Playoffs

Next Week: McConnell Against Cilley

Each week, two or three dorms will be pitted against each other. Members of the chosen dorms will submit a reply to the Humor section’s weekly prompt. The funniest, most appropriate response will be published in the Humor Section and the dorm with the best response will win the round. Submissions must be emailed to

exonianhumor@gmail.com before EP on the Tuesday following this edition of The Exonian.

This week’s prompt: 5 Ways Tea Could Go Wrong