Claire and Erica on The Internet

Greetings friends, nice to see you all on the humor page. We got kicked off of Life. New term, new us. Don’t worry fans, this only means that we don’t have to censor ourselves as much. Now we get to meme out as much as we want.

This week we are discussing the ever important topic of Ted Cruz being the Zodiac Killer. Ted Cruz, serial killer who is also running for the Republican nomination, is the Zodiac Killer.

Cruz appeared on Jimmy Kimmel, blatantly referencing his secret identity by replying to Kimmel’s question, “Favorite cereal?” with, “Serial killer or cereal?” Citizens are expressing their amusement for Cruz’s jokes, but how much of it was intentional? How can we not see that this mastermind has been fooling everyone with his so-called “jokes?”

People always bring up the fact that Cruz was born in 1970 and that the first killing was reported in 1969. Is it really so hard for a criminal mastermind to simply change his identity? People always dismiss him as an awkward man, unable to properly stand or smile, but what can we expect from a man who is wearing a skinsuit?

He is becoming aware that people are realizing the truth, and now, by directly accepting the accusations, his campaigning team is hoping that people will let this go. By dehumanizing Cruz, the public cannot continue making fun of him. In a previous article, we discussed the anomaly of “meme-ception.” However, we had only witnessed this miracle with Hillary Clinton. Contrary to Clinton, Cruz’s situation targeted himself.

We are making it our duty to reveal Cruz’s true intentions. He is not “just a normal guy.” In fact, his favorite cereal is Mueslix. What normal person would enjoy a bowl of Mueslix in the morning? What is Mueslix? Is Mueslix even real or is it a fabrication, like Ted Cruz’s false identity as a “normal guy”?

Is Ted Cruz, in fact, the Zodiac Killer? Email exonianhumor@gmail.com and find out next week.

See you all next week, nerds. Stay meme-y fam.