Political Predictions

Voting season is upon us. The seniors are voting. The preps are being dragged to Dem Club 5’s. That feeling in the air isn’t the windchill, no. It is the bracing grip of democracy. So in this article, I’ve made some predictions as to how New Hampshire’s early political season will play out.

1. Fox News is going to screw something up factually.

2. Bernie Sanders will talk about the disappearing middle class.

3. Trump will try to marginalize a group of people.

4. Hillary Clinton will wear a pant suit.

5. Marco Rubio’s hair will escape and go back to living in the forest.

6. Ted Cruz will release another coloring book, this time  with twice the guns and half the ethical standards.

7. A hot MSNBC anchor will consult Politico about something.

8. Kasich will search for his lost eyebrows.

9. Martin O’Malley will cry.

10. People will ignore NPR’s coverage.

11. Bloomberg will watch the election while drinking a 16 oz. soda.

12. Nate Silver will do math and make better predictions than mine.