(Coding) Language of Love
Dear Guy in My CompSci Class,
Ever since I first saw you stumble into the classroom with smudged glasses and accidentally call the teacher “mom,” I knew that we were a perfect match.
I think our relationship has really progressed. When we first did class introductions I made sure to maintain direct eye contact with you while sharing my fun fact. (The fun fact was that I once accidentally sprayed gasoline in my eyes.) I don’t think you picked up on my message, but that hasn’t stopped us from becoming closer. Sometimes when all the other seats are already taken you sit next to me. True, the situation insinuates that you don’t have a choice, but it’s almost as if our peers even want us to get together. Moreover, we talk outside of class. Occasionally you’ll message me over the CompSci group chat asking about what the homework is. It’s during these times that I will take an hour to respond. (Playing hard to get, you know?)
One time in class you were having a problem with your program and, despite your best efforts, could not figure out what was wrong. I suggested that you were missing a semicolon, and guess what? I was right!
I’d like to think that I am your heart’s semicolon.
Sunday is Valentine’s Day, and I would love nothing more than to spend all 24 hours of it with you. We can go to the parkway, Stillwell’s, the boardwalk, or some sketchy area in the woods. Anywhere, really. As long as we can gaze longingly at each other through smudgy glasses, then I will be content.
Do not worry about the logistics of our relationship. I’ve done the math, and I think that I am strong enough to support the both of us through any economic turmoil, snowstorm, or zombie apocalypse. According to one of those face mashing websites our kids will look average. (I was really worried that you would drag us down on that one, but it worked out in the end.) I also get up at six in the morning every day, which means I am definitely not willing to get up at five and thus put you at minimal risk for a disciplinary case.
According to many sources, trust is an essential part of a relationship. I think we got that part down. If the teacher doesn’t notice that you’re not in class, I tell her. That way you’re always acknowledged. And I am sure that you are quite aware that by now, in this stage of our relationship, I have gathered enough social media information to blackmail you. But I haven’t blackmailed you! Yet.
Which is why I recommend that we spend Valentine’s Day together!
See you soon,
Majestic
P.S. I love you.