Dorm vs. Dorm Winner

Five Reasons Why I Couldn’t Go to EP with You

1. My 331’s due tomorrow and I haven’t even done my research yet.

2. I like to “Save room for Jesus.”

3. My New Year’s resolution doesn’t allow me to go to EP.

4. Your dorm fire alarm has awoken me more than five times during my Exeter career.

5. Sorry I have a date with PT* and PC**.

Runner-Up

1. I’m a prep so it’s past my bedtime.

2. The lights are on and it’s too bright for me.

3. “EP is not a date.”

4. I’m going with my dorm.

5. There’s a 333 waiting for me in the library.

Next Week: McConnell Against Merrill

Each week, two or three dorms will be pitted against each other. Members of the chosen dorms will submit a reply to the Humor section’s weekly prompt. The funniest, most appropriate response will be published in the Humor Section and the dorm with the best response will win the round. Submissions must be emailed to exonianhumor@gmail.com before EP on the Tuesday following this edition of The Exonian.

This week’s prompt: How to Hide Midterms From Parents